Former Fashion Model, Fashion Blogger and Communications Consultant
The truth is, you are not your thoughts. You have to filter what you tell yourself.
When starting out in my “career”, I had no idea what I wanted to do – and to some extent, I feel like I still don’t. And that’s ok. I think one of the biggest struggles that comes along with whatever you decide to do in life is that you are your own worst critic – whether it be deciding on a job, a spouse, a home, a big decision – there will always be a question of whether or not you are doing the right thing, or – what if I do this and don’t do that? But that’s where trusting in yourself, your capabilities, and leaving things up to God's higher power come into play, which goes along with any struggle you face in life.
A challenge I have been dealing with lately is focusing on my career while also trying to have a personal life that is satisfying to me, but that doesn’t distract from my ultimate goals for myself. After having a long-term relationship end somewhat recently, I’m back at square one. Being 32, unmarried, and without children at this stage in my life has been an experience that is not what I expected, but ultimately, I am still hopeful for these things to complete my goals for the future, in due time. Remaining focused on my career and understanding that what I do is important, is valuable, and that it’s ok to be where I’m at as a woman, in a culture where we’re somewhat expected to have certain things by a certain age, and something is “wrong” with you when you don’t – can be daunting. With that being said, my career at this stage has luckily been able to blossom without distraction. I have nobody to blame when it comes to the decisions I make and I have learned to take full responsibility for my life – which can be very empowering. I also have opportunities for self-growth when it comes to reading good books, writing in my spare time rather than writing for work, going on solo trips, going on dates, and learning about different types of people and cultures. I have learned to be ok with where I am, even though I yearn for more. I think this is a sign of healthy progress... that I’m not stuck.
I recently purchased a home, and I told a male co-worker about it. He asked me if I was married, and I said I’m not, but I can still buy a house. I, of course, was polite, but it had me thinking about life as a single woman. Would someone ever ask a man this question if he bought a home? I didn’t want to wait for the perfect person to come along and go “halfsies” on a house with me. I did it by myself because I was at the stage to make a smart investment, and I was financially capable. But it did get me thinking about society’s expectations, and that’s one thing that I also struggle with. Most of the time my attitude is that I don’t care what others think, which is mainly true. But I also have to practice what I tell myself on a daily basis. The truth is, you are not your thoughts. You have to filter what you tell yourself. I have trained myself to remain positive, that God knows when the timing will be right for me, and that you can only attract love and light if you give out love and light, and remain open to others and be kind. But the most important person to be kind to you is yourself – believing in yourself, not putting yourself down, not comparing yourself to others. We all have our own individual paths and journeys and nobody’s is the same. Work hard, manifest that which you wish for, and abundance will come.
I remain confident by surrounding myself with supportive people who love me; by going to yoga and working out my frustrations; by investing in things that make me happy and fulfill me; by keeping my head held high and sharing intimate feelings only with those I fully trust. For me, success has yet to fully manifest itself in my life, but I imagine it comes in the form of happiness and love. How much money you make is inconsequential as long as you are comfortable and blessed. Whatever you put out into the universe comes back to you tenfold. You only have to ask for it.
Katie fashionably blogs at KEllis Island Vintage