I'm that girl that always feels like I stick out- and not so much in a good way all the time. I'm either too tall, too loud, not loud enough, misunderstood, or just "too nice". I've been told that my personality can be "too sensitive", and mean girls have told me that I am unrelateable. Ahhhh.... connecting with other women has always been a challenge for me... but also a great interest and desire of mine; which is why I find it so incredible that the Lord has blessed me with two daughters! What a sense of humor He has!
Women are complicated beings, aren't we? Some of us love to binge on Reality TV and all the girl drama that comes with it, but we'd be mortified if such occurrences happened in our own friendships. We'd rather play it safe. We cower from each other out of intimidation, we compare, we gossip and sometimes, we even do and say mean things. I think, though, deep down we want to love each other. We want to be loved and accepted and appreciated by other members of our marvelous sex, but too many of us have stories of the opposite experience.
Why is that?
In elementary school, anyone who was in your class or sat beside you on the bus or slid down the slide with you was your "friend". Kailyn, my 2 year old, considers anybody under the age o f 10 to be a "friend".
"Hi, friend", she'll say, with a wave, at any random child that she sees in any random place. Oh, honey, if only it were that easy, right?
But maybe, it's not as difficult or as restrictive as we sometimes make it out to be. Past disappoints from fall outs or separation caused by a change in life can cause us to box ourselves in from the openness of friendship. But, in my 30's, I am learning so much more about true friendships than I ever have at any other point in my life. It's not only about shared interest, common goals or mutual lifestyles. Friendships can come in all shapes and sizes and the more unique the friendship is, the more unique experiences there will be in shaping your life and your heart.
But it won't come easy. We tend to only want what we find comfortable, predictable and controllable. That is human nature, but seeking such traits as reasons for friendship will prove superficial in the long run. Take some inventory. A genuine friendship is entirely unselfish and wants nothing in return. Is this true of your friendships- of yourself?
We cannot control people, any more than we can control outcomes, so first and foremost, if we are desiring to be a good friend and to build strong friendships, we have to be realistic about the common complications we will eventually endure when we choose to share our lives with others.
1. True Friendships Aren't for Convenience
We need to grow up. Friendships aren't purposed for our "good time". Our culture depicts "Best Friends" as women who hang out and have fun. Though that is definitely apart of it, friendship is first and foremost about love and