When I found out I'd be a mother, my world started spinning. I was so excited and so happy and these emotions carried throughout my pregnancy and into the moment when they first laid Kailyn in my arms. But another emotion came over me in that moment, as well: the feeling of not being enough. Maybe, truly, it was the fear.
Two years later, after giving birth to Jaelle, the feeling came over me again. I'm not sure if enough of us are brave enough to admit this. So I'm just going to be totally honest and clear the air: I don't always know what I'm doing. I have these huge hopes and dreams and prayers and ideas and desires for my girls, but sometimes, it feels too big for me. I know the kind of women I want to raise: women who care more about what's coming out of their hearts than what's being put on their faces; women who pray for others, instead of talking about them; women who put determination behind their dreams and trust the Lord in all things; women who look past fleeting moments and are unmoved by the peer pressure that will surround them.
Those are the women I desire to raise. But, gosh, I don't always feel qualified for the task. I see my mistakes, my sin, my struggles, my inadequacies and sometimes, all I can do is just pray, "God, show me how!"
At the end of the day, sometimes I wonder if I've even put a drop in their bucket. Each day affects the next and though they are young, they will grow. What will they grow into? Who will they become? Honestly, I'm learning to lean on the truth that who they are and who they will be is all part of God's plan. It's not my responsibility to make them into anything. It's my joy and honor to raise them and point them in the Lord's direction and He will take care of it all. He's the one who is covering their steps, their growth and their hearts.
See, mom, you were specifically chosen to be the mother of your children and all the hopes and desires you cary in your heart for them, those were put there by the Lord. Why? Because He wants us to seek Him and His guidance over our children. We have the hopes, He has the answers. We have the desires, He has the blessings. Our children are so precious, but remember, we are HIS children and He desires to give us good things (Psalm 85:12).
I'm learning so much about the goodness of God in my life. That, though I am inadequate in so many areas, His love covers my insecurities, my doubt and my fears in all things, including in the area of motherhood. I'm realizing that this walk with Jesus isn't just about Heaven, it's also about my life here on earth, my calling as a servant, a teacher, a writer, a friend, sister, wife, and mother.
Who I am is who He is fashioning me to be and there is no area in my life that is an exception to that. God is molding us all when we receive His love in our hearts through Salvation in Jesus, and it's this love that propels us to be the mother that our children need.
So as we are raising our young loves, let's remember these important truths:
God is sovereign over all things.
This means that He is in control, so we don't have to worry. We just seek Him in prayer and reading our Bibles and His Holy Spirit will direct us to make the right decisions for our sweet babies!
He is so good.
All that He gives is wonderful. Our children are wonderful. Our motherhood is wonderful. Even if our kids are acting a fool and giving us a hard time or we feel like failures in our parenting, it's all good, because it comes from God. This season you are in, it's purposed and promised and therefore it's a blessing. Have confidence that you truly are doing a great job! God will not fail you. He is working all things out for your good!
His Love is Perfect.
This truth gives me such hope, because my love is not perfect. The other day, we were running late and in my haste, I grabbed Kailyn's arm to hurry her along and my ring scrapped her shoulder. She cried. I could have died. I hurt my sweet girl and I felt absolutely terrible. What a mistake. We aren't perfect. I know there will be imperfect moments in my mothering, but God's love is perfect and the more time I spend with Him, the more His perfect love will flow out of my heart and into theirs. I fully believe this and I am so thankful.
He rejoices over us.
Even in the poop, the dirty laundry, the late nights and early mornings, Jesus celebrates us! He celebrates our motherhood and He is cheering us on! We are raising children for His glory and He is so proud of us! Don't ever doubt that what you do goes unseen. It most certainly doesn't. Every kiss, every song, every story, every soap sudd ... He sees it all and He is overjoyed in the love and dedication you pour out over your little ones!
Motherhood is not just a title, it's a mission and you have been called to it; therefore, you are qualified for it. As you grow in the Lord and in His grace, He will begin to work His wonders in our lives, causing us all to look to Him and not ourselves. This is where our confidence lies, where our dreams for our children become reality and where His love will fill in all the missing pieces.